There’s no right way to go through a breakup. The lack of a timeline, answers, and direction can be overwhelming or just white noise. The emotions come in different waves, sometimes all at once and others not at all. Luckily, many know what you’re going through, every dip and curve of that pain or relief, and many know how to write songs about it. Breakup songs can be some of the best heartbreak therapy, covering a plethora of ground via belted confessions and somber subtleties. In this musical realm feel free to rage, cry, or block it all out. At the end of the day, a breakup is a call for self care.
First and foremost, a breakup can be an undeniably painful loss. Whether it was clearly the right move or a confusing situation, it is a shock to the system for a constant presence to suddenly and completely lack. At first it can be lonely, feeling like the only one who understands is the person you can’t talk to. Music helps to cope, picturing seeing one another again and maneuvering how to say what you could not before. Reminiscing, holding onto moments you shared to pass the days apart. These ten songs know that presence, they live it. Songs like Haim’s “Another Try” and “Sorry I Am” by Del Water Gap carry a swift, jazzy melody, but the lyrics long and plead. “If I could have anything,” Flock of Dimes sings in “One More Hour,” “that I wanted in the world of you,” wispy and desperate and opened up. Similarly, SZA leaves her heart on her sleeve in every one of her tracks. “2am,” honey-like and hurting, plays with multiple sides of missing someone. When it feels like you need to keep it in, keep it together, these tracks let emotions blossom and live.
“I could see everything you would be doin’
2am, SZA
I could see everything, lookin’ at me like you love me
I know you don’t love me
I never care long as I come first, you come on time
I reverse, you rewind, do it again
Stuck in time, do it again”
Longing, understandably:
1. “Another Try,” Haim
2. “I miss you, I’m sorry,” Gracie Abrams
3. “2am,” SZA
4. “One More Hour,” Flock of Dimes
5. “But Not Kiss,” Faye Webster
6. “Sorry I Am,” Del Water Gap
7. “Do You Love Me Still?” The Kooks
8. “Natural Light,” Tomberlin
9. “Don’t You,” Taylor Swift
10. “Without You,” Harry Nilsson
When sadness relaxes, it is normal and quite common to see the breakup or the relationship itself for some flaws that may have gone unnoticed the first time around. Head spinning over words said and unsaid, there can be a very frustrating part of experiencing a breakup. Classics such as “I Don’t Want to Know,” by Fleetwood Mac, and Kacey Musgraves’ wrenching cover of Miranda Lambert’s “Mama’s Broken Heart” cut to the bone, sung with vigor and reckoning. “Size of the Moon,” by Pinegrove, and “I Just Don’t Think That You Like Me That Much Anymore,” by Leith Ross take on a sadder angle of anger. They still desire some sort of contact or sign, but there’s a thick layer of resentment woven into the lyrics and melancholy cadence.
“Finally baby
The truth has come down now
Take a listen to your spirit
It’s crying out loud
Tryin’ to believe
Oh, you say you love me, but you don’t know
You got me rocking and a-reeling”
I Don’t Want to Know, Fleetwood Mac
Angry and rightfully so:
11. “Mr. Percocet,” Noah Cyrus
12. “I Just Don’t Think That You Like Me That Much Anymore,” Leith Ross
13. “Maybe Could Have Loved,” Charli Adams ft. Nightly
14. “Night Shift,” Lucy Dacus
15. “How My Friends Feel About You,” Sawyer
16. “Die From A Broken Heart,” Maddie & Tae
17. “Size of the Moon,” Pinegrove
18. “Mama’s Broken Heart,” Miranda Lambert covered by Kacey Musgraves
19. “When He’s Done,” Tei Shi
20. “I Don’t Want to Know,” Fleetwood Mac
The scariest thing about being alone is, well, being alone. If you were used to such consistency in another person, it can be disorienting to be at one with yourself. However confusing, it can be the perfect opportunity to explore inward, to understand what makes you unconditionally lovable and navigate sustaining your own independence, happiness, and worth. The road is long, but it is worth it. Marina, a reliable hot-person pump-up artist, captures this in “Lonely Hearts Club.” She effectively romanticizes a painful experience, warping it into a shining opportunity with a bubblegum-pop attitude. “Giving Up,” a tune of pure folk bliss by Whitney, is woodsy and raw. An ode to discovery and acceptance, “Giving Up” cradles the listener with a silky, high register and warm brass.
“Lonely Hearts Club
Do you want to be with somebody like me?I feel like if I’m too kind
Lonely Hearts Club, Marina
Then you will only change your mind”
Lost, finding yourself again:
21. “Stayaway,” MUNA
22. “Lonesome Love,” Mitski
23. “Lonely Hearts Club,” Marina
24. “If She Ever Leaves Me,” The Highwomen
25. “Not My Baby,” Alvvays
26. “Giving Up,” Whitney
27. “Myth,” Beach House
Finally, one way or another, you will find yourself worrying less and less about the whole thing. Learning to trust your gut, being alone can be the most relieving experience. This is a great time for music, open arms for swinging guitar and driving piano. Gracie Abrams, one of the queens of breakup anthems, breaks free in “For Real This Time.” The verses are slower and reflective, but the pace quickens when she begins to belt her unabashed needs, “I’ve packed my bags in the middle of the night, a thousand times I got up to say goodbye, I could be wrong but I think that I’m for real this time.” On a different note, “No Getting Over Me” by Ronnie Milsap featuring Kacey Musgraves dips into the confident side of a breakup, feeling personal triumph with a little kick back. The country-rock vibe is perfect for marching to the beat of your own drum, at peace with your presence and ready for the future.
“[Milsap:] I’ll be the bill you forgot to pay
[Musgraves:] I’ll be the dream that keeps you awake
[Milsap:] I’ll be the song on the radio
[Musgraves:] I’ll be the reason that you tell the girls no”
No Getting Over Me, Ronnie Milsap and Kacey Musgraves
Acceptance, woohoo!:
28. “No Getting Over Me,” Ronnie Milsap and Kacey Musgraves
29. “For Real This Time,” Gracie Abrams
30. “better off,” Ariana Grande
31. “It’s Not Right, But It’s Ok,” Whitney Houston
32. “Delete Forever,” Grimes
No matter where you are on the whirlwind path of breaking up and moving forward, these songs offer a plethora of comfort and relatability to cushion your journey. Check out our playlist “Don’t Text Your Ex” and remember, it’s always a good time to focus on loving yourself first.